Mixing with the cognoscenti

My music career has taken me to many places I never quite expected to go – South Korea, Thailand, Chalgrove Village Hall. I have to say, though, I never expected it to take me to a Civic Reception hosted by the Mayor Of Peterborough in honour of a newly-promoted football team. I mean, I bet Jagger’s never done that. Nor Richards. Richards is probably too busy falling out of trees or snorting people’s cremated remains to attend Civic Receptions.

That said, the Stones could probably learn a thing or two from playing a gig of this sort. It was pretty unique. We were performing Posh We Are on the balcony as the triumphant Peterborough United squad (fresh from their open-top bus tour of the city) appeared through the doors of the town hall to frenzied journalistic activity and a cavalcade of local dignitaries. Of course, the infamous Barry Fry (Posh’s Director Of Football) was there, and he was absolutely LOVING it. He danced. I mean, he actually boogied. Everyone else maintained an aura of august calm, but Fry didn’t care! He was singing along and waving his scarf like there was no tomorrow. What a legend. We met him afterwards too and he was most complimentary, which was a thrill for Tony who somewhat idolises the man.

We were in the middle of doing our usual thing of maintaining the steely coolness that befits rock stars (not so straightforward when you’re eating finger food at a local council meeting) when we were approached by the Mayor herself. Let me tell you now, this lady is a diamond. She complimented us heartily on our performance and asked us if we were going to carry on with music when we left school. This is not the first time this has happened. Must remember to grow some stubble.

It makes us feel very cool that we’re now mates with some of Posh’s star players, including Golden Boot winner Aaron Maclean and new England reserve keeper Joe Lewis. I know very little about football but there’s no need to let on. Plus I have my own shirt now. I’ve been accepted.

Chris Lightyear